Borderline Personality Disorder Impact on Relationships

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a serious mental health condition that affects an individual’s emotions, thoughts, and behavior. People with BPD often have a hard time maintaining healthy relationships.

BPD sufferers have intense fear of abandonment, unstable relationships, impulsive behavior, emotional volatility, and difficulty with identity and self-image. These symptoms can make it difficult for them to form and maintain healthy relationships, and can cause a lot of pain and turmoil for both the individual with BPD and their loved ones.

In this blog post, we will discuss the impact of BPD on relationships, and provide some strategies for coping and building strong and supportive relationships for those living with BPD and for their partners.

It’s important to remember that with the right treatment, individuals with BPD can maintain healthy relationships.

Symptoms of BPD

Symptoms of borderline personality disorder include:

Intense fear of abandonment

People with BPD often experience intense fear of abandonment and rejection. They may go to great lengths to prevent being abandoned, such as clinginess or controlling behavior in relationships. This fear can also lead to panic and distress when a relationship ends or when a loved one is not immediately available.

Unstable relationships

People with BPD tend to have unstable relationships, often switching quickly between idealizing someone and devaluing them. They may idealize a new romantic partner, only to later become disappointed and critical when the relationship doesn’t meet their idealized expectations.

Impulsive behavior

People with BPD often engage in impulsive and reckless behavior, such as binge eating, substance abuse, risky sexual behavior, or reckless driving. They may act impulsively without thinking through the consequences of their actions.

Emotional volatility

People with BPD experience intense and unstable emotions, which can change rapidly and unpredictably. They may have difficulty regulating their emotions, and may experience extreme mood swings, including anger, sadness, or anxiety.

Difficulty with identity and self-image

People with BPD often have a hard time understanding who they are and what they want in life. They may have a poor sense of self-worth and a negative self-image. This can lead to feeling empty and lost, and can make it difficult for them to make decisions or plan for their future.

It’s worth noting that while these are some of the core symptoms associated with BPD, not every person with BPD will experience every symptom, and some may experience other symptoms not mentioned here. A qualified mental health professional can make the diagnosis and work with the person to develop a treatment plan.

How BPD affects relationships

There are several ways that BPD affects relationships such as:

  • Issues with trust and commitment: People with BPD may have difficulty trusting their partners and may struggle with commitment due to their fear of abandonment. This can make it difficult for them to form stable and long-term relationships.
  • Difficulty with communication: People with BPD may struggle with expressing their emotions in a healthy and effective way, which can make it difficult for them to communicate effectively in a relationship.
  • Constant fear of abandonment: The fear of abandonment can drive a lot of behavior in people with BPD. It can lead to intense reactions to perceived slights or rejections, making it hard for their partners to understand the intensity of their reactions.
  • High levels of emotional intensity and volatility: People with BPD often have intense and rapidly fluctuating emotions, which can make it difficult for them to regulate their emotions and manage conflicts in relationships.
  • Difficulty with conflict resolution: People with BPD may struggle with understanding and managing their emotions, which can make it difficult for them to resolve conflicts in a healthy way.
  • Difficulty with vulnerability: People with BPD may struggle with vulnerability due to their difficulty with trust and self-image. This can make it difficult for them to open up and form deep connections with their partners.

People with BPD are capable of having successful and healthy relationships, but it may require an open and understanding partner, proper treatment, and a lot of work on both sides.

With proper support, people with BPD can learn how to manage their symptoms and build strong and loving relationships.

6 Coping strategies for those with BPD in relationships

Strategies for those struggling with BPD include:

#1- Therapy: Therapy is one of the most important tools in managing the symptoms of BPD. It can help individuals with BPD learn to regulate their emotions, understand and manage their fear of abandonment, and improve communication and conflict resolution skills.

#2 – Medication: Medication may be used in conjunction with therapy to help manage the symptoms of BPD. Antidepressants, mood stabilizers, and anti-anxiety medication may be prescribed to help with emotional regulation and impulse control.

#3 – Support groups: Joining a support group for people with BPD can provide a sense of community and understanding, and can help individuals with BPD feel less alone in their struggles.

#4 – Learning healthy communication skills: Learning healthy communication skills, such as active listening, assertiveness, and compromise can help individuals with BPD navigate relationships more effectively.

#5 – Practicing self-care: Self-care is essential for individuals with BPD as it can help with emotional regulation and stress management. Engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation such as exercise, yoga, art, or spending time with friends can help you to feel more in control of your emotions.

#6 – Staying consistent and stable: People with BPD often have to work hard to maintain a sense of consistency in their lives, including their relationships. It may involve seeing a therapist or a support group on a regular basis and consistently taking their medication as prescribed.

Everyone is different and may find different strategies that work for them. Work with a therapist or other mental health professional to develop a treatment plan that is tailored to your specific needs.

With the right support, people with BPD can learn to manage their symptoms and maintain happy, healthy relationships.

Support for partners of those with BPD

Here’s how partners can support those struggling with BPD:

  • Understanding the condition: The first step in supporting a partner with BPD is to educate yourself about the condition. Understanding the symptoms and causes of BPD can help you understand your partner’s behavior and reactions.
  • Setting boundaries: It’s important to set clear and healthy boundaries in any relationship, but it’s especially important in a relationship with someone with BPD. It’s essential for you to establish limits on what is and is not acceptable behavior from your partner.
  • Communication and problem-solving: Effective communication and problem-solving are key to any healthy relationship, but it’s especially important for those in a relationship with someone with BPD. It can be challenging, but with patience and understanding, it’s possible to navigate conflicts and improve communication.
  • Maintaining self-care: It’s easy to become emotionally exhausted when in a relationship with someone who has BPD. It’s important to make time for yourself, to engage in activities you enjoy, and to maintain your own mental and emotional well-being.
  • Being patient: Navigating a relationship with someone with BPD can be difficult, and it may take time for your partner to learn how to manage their symptoms and improve communication. It’s important to be patient and to understand that progress may be slow but steady.
  • Encourage getting professional help: Encourage your partner to seek therapy and other forms of professional help. It’s crucial for them to work with a professional to develop a personalized treatment plan, and for both of you to work together with a therapist to improve communication and build a stronger relationship.

Keep in mind that BPD affects the individual and the relationship, the person with BPD needs professional help and support, and the partner also needs support and understanding.

Remember that it’s possible for relationships to be successful and happy, even when one partner has BPD with the right support and understanding.


Millions of people around the world are impacted by Borderline Personality Disorder, which may be difficult to control. However, by utilizing appropriate treatment solutions such as medication and therapy, it is possible to lessen the outward expressions of the illness and heighten quality of life. Significant progress in managing symptoms can be realized through medical treatments.

People with BPD can learn to cope and lead meaningful lives when they receive proper help and guidance. Don’t hesitate to reach out for assistance if you or someone close to you is dealing with the condition – there is hope and healing available.

Natural Appraise on Mental Illness